I deleted all my old blogs.
Why?
Well, because those belong to another time of my life. I know that sounds pretty cliched, but it's true. I hadn't started having seizures yet - not that I knew, anyway. I hadn't been hospitalized because of my seizures which was the only way I could get anyone to TRY and diagnose what was happening to me. I was still happily working at a chiropractic office.
Enter the end of the world as I knew it: epilepsy....
Of course, it hasn't actually been THE END OF THE WORLD. I'd say, it's more accurate to say it's been more The Beginning.
I've struggled with medications. The results have been good: my seizures are largely under control. I go to a support group which helps keep me in perspective and not feel so alone. I'm going to start an art therapy program which I need, because, while I have perspective, I haven't found a way to really be okay with epilepsy. I largely just ignore it until I feel warning signs or have one. Then, I'm not dealing so well. The word "baby" comes to mind. I think maybe I'm being a little to harsh on myself; so, art therapy.
I'm not at the chiropractic office anymore. It's kind of funny because that should be a horrible thing, but I'm actually kind of excited about it. I'm on my own. The Universe seems to be supporting it, because I'm getting a decent number of people without a lot of work. Since I'm giving myself a relative vacation (working when I have it, but giving myself a break when I have it), this has been ideal. I love my massage work with a passion. Being on my own has only reinforced this understanding as I CRAVE my work when I go too long without doing it.
Most importantly, I'm seriously looking at myself and my life to try to figure out if there are other next steps I need to take. I'm paying attention to where I'm happiest and what am I doing at that moment. I came back to this blog, because I find I need a place to "communicate" what's going on. Just recording it for myself isn't working. I don't know that anyone will read this, but I'm going to write it anyway! Erratically, perhaps, but I'm trying everything again; so, we'll see where this goes.
