Starting Over

I deleted all my old blogs.

Why?

Well, because those belong to another time of my life.  I know that sounds pretty cliched, but it's true.  I hadn't started having seizures yet - not that I knew, anyway.  I hadn't been hospitalized because of my seizures which was the only way I could get anyone to TRY and diagnose what was happening to me.  I was still happily working at a chiropractic office.

Enter the end of the world as I knew it: epilepsy....

Of course, it hasn't actually been THE END OF THE WORLD.  I'd say, it's more accurate to say it's been more The Beginning.

I've struggled with medications.  The results have been good: my seizures are largely under control.  I go to a support group which helps keep me in perspective and not feel so alone.  I'm going to start an art therapy program which I need, because, while I have perspective, I haven't found a way to really be okay with epilepsy.  I largely just ignore it until I feel warning signs or have one.  Then, I'm not dealing so well.  The word "baby" comes to mind.  I think maybe I'm being a little to harsh on myself; so, art therapy.

I'm not at the chiropractic office anymore.  It's kind of funny because that should be a horrible thing, but I'm actually kind of excited about it.  I'm on my own.  The Universe seems to be supporting it, because I'm getting a decent number of people without a lot of work.  Since I'm giving myself a relative vacation (working when I have it, but giving myself a break when I have it), this has been ideal.  I love my massage work with a passion.  Being on my own has only reinforced this understanding as I CRAVE my work when I go too long without doing it.

Most importantly, I'm seriously looking at myself and my life to try to figure out if there are other next steps I need to take.  I'm paying attention to where I'm happiest and what am I doing at that moment.  I came back to this blog, because I find I need a place to "communicate" what's going on.  Just recording it for myself isn't working.  I don't know that anyone will read this, but I'm going to write it anyway!  Erratically, perhaps, but I'm trying everything again; so, we'll see where this goes.